PASH Australia

  • 'Ageism' the new Female Battleground

    As a mother who has worked extensively in the corporate world over the years, I know the challenges faced by working mum's balancing the child / work life.

    For those of you who, like me, have worked in senior positions you'll know the stress that comes from having to leave half way through a meeting to dash off to pick up the kids - in my case usually with the disapproving looks from my male counterparts or from young, yet to be, mothers who don't quite yet understand.

    Many women have also sacrificed their careers to become a mother, opting not to become partners or take on more senior roles that will inevitably require a greater time commitment. Some women are able to work around it with nannies and lots of support, but not every women has the financial ability to do that, and many women also don't want to sacrifice the time with their children.

    So if that isn't challenging enough, it would appear that research has confirmed what we know all too well that when women get into their 50s and 60s, keeping and getting a job is much, much harder.  For women who's children have grown up and are ready to get back into the workforce, it's just not that easy.

    With an ever aging population and life expectancy much higher, society is going to have to change the way it views women. We're getting there with gender equality, but we have a long way to go to recognising that turning 50 literally is now 'middle age'. With probably some 50 more years to live, there is still plenty of living to do and a great deal to contribute to society!

    Ageism is the new sexism - Mumbrella


  • Is there anything a mother wouldn't do?

    Well known Australian author Kathy Lette has just released her latest book entitled' Best Laid Plans' about her autistic son Julius. She's a dedicated mother and when she talks about her son she coins a phrase I think is really poignant, 'As my son has taught me, there is no such thing as normal and abnormal, just ordinary and extraordinary.'

    While the book is a work of fiction, in the book she talks about a real life scenario where Jules was desperate to lose his virginity before his 21st birthday. Desperate to help her son who, prior to this time had not had a girlfriend, she considered hiring a prostitute.

    It's an interesting dilemma. Does everyone deserves the right to a happy, fulfilling sexual life no matter what their life circumstances? And if so, how as a mother, if you have a disabled child, can you help them achieve their desire?

    I once watched a documentary on SBS about female sex workers that work with disabled people. One of the  stories included a mother who had facilitated the union for her son who had severe cerebral palsy. It was a true sign of a mother's love. Mentally the son was just a young man wanting to explore his sexual side, but physically he was unable to procure that on his own.

    There is good news for those mother's in that situation who want to assist - a charitable organisation called 'Touching Base' which connects people with a disability with sex workers.

    There are also trained 'sexual assistants' who also operate in this space that can provide assistance.

    Of course, no matter what the situation is, ensuring the person is educated about sex and ensures safe sex practice is important.

    Yours PASHionately, Jo

    Dymocks Best Laid Plans Book


  • Screamer or Moaner?

    Unless your friendships are as open as the 'Sex and the City' girls, there will be many things you don't often discuss with your girlfriends. One of the topics probably not slipped in between 'where are you going Friday night?' and 'what did you do on the weekend?' is about their orgasms.

    I remember when I was younger and not sexually active (but definitely sexually intrigued) a friend who was in a sexual relationship with her boyfriend told me she had experienced an orgasm. While I had vaguely heard about this intriguing experience, I honestly thought she was making it up. That it didn't exist. I got the male ejaculation, that was sex ed 101, but I thought the female version was just a myth. Thank goodness I was wrong!

    Thankfully the majority of women are able to orgasm so are aware of the intense sensation of pleasure it produces, but what many women don't realise is that there are many types of orgasms. So in the interests of ensuring you have maximum opportunities for pleasure here's a little Orgasm 101:

    1. Clitoral - there are 8,000 nerve endings there, so no wonder it delivers one hell of a pleasure punch. This is also the most common type of orgasm that women experience. In fact, it is often quoted that around 75% of women need clitoral stimulation to climax.
    2. Vaginal - vagina orgasms are generated through stimulation of the 'g-spot'. Not many women can orgasm purely from penetration alone, but spending time withe your partner or yourself to explore this option can be fun.
    3. Blended - experts say that a combined clitoral and vaginal orgasm is the most intense, it can double the impact. For that reason alone - we believe it's like the holy grail of the 'O'.
    4. Multiple - this is actually a series of orgasms, one after the next. Like getting icecream, with cream, chocolate and cherries - amazing!

    I'd like to wish you a wonderful time discovering all the different 'O's.

    female-orgasmYours PASHionately


  • Lust for life - is there sex after 80?

    Apparently life doesn't begin at 40 anymore, it's now 80! Well, maybe not 'life' per se, but certainly it seems that your sex life is actually in for some exciting times when the rest of your body may not be at it's peak. Good news for women heading to the golden years.

    A new survey shows that 'sex survivors' in their eighties are reaping the benefits of lovemaking more than ever. But don't get too excited, it looks like only 10% of women are having that experience at that age so don't give up now!

    Dr David Lee, a research fellow at Manchester University’s School of Social Sciences, calls them “sexual survivors” – people over the age of 80 who still enjoy an active sex life. In a report written with Professor Josie Tetley, using data from the English Longitudinal Study of Ageing, he notes that while physical challenges (erectile difficulties, for instance) occured more frequently with age, the emotional side of sex appeared more fulfilling for people over 80. Men and women in this age bracket reported more shared sexual compatibility and emotional closeness than those in their 50s, 60s and 70s – which sounds like good news for anyone going through a drought in middle age.


    Sex isn’t defined by penetration, says Lee – some older people find more imaginative ways to keep their sex lives active. “We saw quite a lot of adaptation in the older people, saying they no longer had penetrative sexual intercourse and were more content with kissing and cuddling and general intimacy. We kept a very broad definition of sex. We saw what appeared to be adaptive behaviour in the older members of our sample.”

    Don’t bank on hitting your sexual peak so late, though. The problem is, having a sex life at all in your 80s is far from guaranteed. Only about one in 10 women aged 85 or older, and nearly one-quarter of men of that age, enjoy one. “They’re a minority, clearly, but they’re an interesting minority,” says Lee. “Among those who were [sexually active], it was quite interesting that they seemed happy with their sexual lives.”

    Lee is studying what it takes to become a sexual survivor. There is likely to be a range of factors, he says. Having a partner is important, of course, and many people in their 80s have been widowed. “I would envisage that these [sexual survivors] are the healthiest people in older age,” he adds. Medication, for instance, can interfere with sex drive and ability.

    Sexually active octogenarians are still considered such a curiosity that documentaries are made about them (such as Channel 5’s Party Pensioners, which featured an octogenarian burlesque dancer, and Sex and the Silver Gays, a film about older gay men who go to sex parties). Sites aimed at millennials run interviews with them, too – in 2015, Vice published an interview with an 82-year-old called Chris Wilson about his exploits on Grindr (he said he found the hook-up app “especially helpful when travelling. When I was in London, England, I got hit on by about 40 guys. I had sex eight times in seven days!”).

    Lee says we need to get used to the idea that some older people may want a fulfilling sex life – and take seriously the means to allow them to achieve this. “We’re simply trying to broaden the discussion around sex and saying, irrespective of age, there is a need for joined-up healthcare services that people can access if they wish. We’re seeing from the comments in our survey [that] when older people try to access healthcare [for] sexual problems they have come across dismissal: ‘You should expect it at your age.’” But Lee has also seen how it becomes internalised in older people: “They think: ‘It’s not relevant to me any more.’” Better, instead, to know you could enjoy a later-life sexual peak.

    Lust for Life

  • Are you a superwoman?

    Life can be challenging, particularly for women. Some days you feel as though you are juggling so many balls you should be in Cirque due soleil! As a wife, mother, sports coach, personal development kids coach, mediator, cook, cleaner and businesswoman some days I don't know what I'm doing. So when I read this post for Business Chicks about taking a step back from being a Superwoman, it really resonated with me - see if you feel the same.


    I’ve been thinking a lot about the term ‘Superwoman’ lately.

    It’s not a new concept, obviously, and I’d like to think we’d done some work in shaking it as something we aspire to be. But sometimes it feels like not a lot has changed.

    So often I hear from women who are down on themselves for not being everything to everyone. Myself included. We convince ourselves that because we’re not succeeding in every aspect of life, we must be failures. And in the process, we neglect our emotional and physical health and render ourselves useless to everyone.

    Why are we so tough on ourselves? Who are we trying to impress? And who are we really ‘failing’ when we don’t reach the impossible goals we set for ourselves?

    How can we collectively shake this Superwoman myth from our conscious? I say we start by celebrating and supporting each other to know what is intuitively right for ourselves. We are all women, doing our best, working hard, perhaps looking after children, growing businesses and careers.

    Some days, there will be aspects of our lives are going to require more from us than others. And that’s okay! Because here’s the thing: We are all truly wondrous, remarkable and amazing. And the sooner we realise this and stop comparing ourselves to each other, the sooner we can stop this vicious cycle.

    When I think of a ‘Superwoman,’ I think of the woman who does what works for her. This week, I’m imploring you to say no, take some time out just for you, and surround yourself with at least one woman who supports you wholeheartedly and celebrates you no matter what.

    Warm regards,


    Business Chicks

  • The Basic Sexual Unit Is One

    This is a blog from a fabulous sexual and relationship educator Jacqueline Hellyer. I read this today (she actually wrote if five years ago, but it is just as relevant today) and thought I would share it with you.


    Here I am sitting in the depths of the jungle in northern Thailand, spending some time at a permaculture farm. Last weekend I was studying spiritual healing. Over Easter I attended the Xplore festival on alternate sexuality. Three quite different experiences, but all united: the sexuality, the spirituality and the connection to the environment.

    What unites them? You, one, the individual. The individual is the basic unit and it is only through you that change happens, or doesn’t. It’s up to the individual to find their spiritual connection, their connection to the environment, and their connection to their sexuality.

    The basic sexual unit is one.

    You’d hardly think so, given our society’s obsession with couples. Not that I have anything against couples, pair-bonding is a normal human activity, and it is the social norm. The problem is two-fold:

    The first is that people feel that they need to be in a couple to feel complete. This places enormous pressure on the other to live up to this expectation. Even the archbishop who married Will and Kate last week in his sermon said that one of the problems with modern couples is that they expect the other to be everything to them. This is simply not possible, totally unfair and one of the reasons why so many relationships are dysfunctional.

    The expectation of your partner to complete you, also removes the responsibility of the individual to develop their own personal self awareness and growth. It’s so much easier to expect the other person to fill your deficiencies rather than work on them yourself; and then you’ve got someone to blame for what you lack in yourself.

    The other problem is that people think being in a couple is somehow normal and natural and therefore doesn’t need discussing. It absolutely needs discussing. Everyone’s idea of what constitutes being in a couple is different. We all have different boundaries and expectations, some culturally defined, others personal. And these change over time.

    You need to come back to yourself first. What do you want, what do you need, what are your expectations/hopes/fears regarding your partner? Once you’re clear about this, you then need to be able to share those openly and honestly, without fear of rejection, without judgement of their input. Only then can the two of you create your own individual relationship, one that is unique to you. And one that continually changes and evolves over time.

    Think of yourself as a circle, and your partner as a circle – how big is the over-lap and what does it cover? What only happens within the overlap, and what is yours alone?

    There will be many other overlapping circles too – work, children, friends, activities – some of which overlap with just your circle and some which overlap both of your circles.

    Try drawing this for yourself, then compare with your partner. Use this as an exercise to understand yourselves and each other more.

    If you’re single, do it anyway to get clearer about what you want and need in a relationship. In doing this you’ll understand yourself more and you’ll attract someone appropriate, with whom you can share openly.

    Two whole people who come together in realness and with individuality - it’s a beautiful thing.


  • Orgasm More and Be Happy!

    Orgasms - a simple, pleasurable way to greater happiness.

    Good news on the happiness stakes, it's as simple as getting a good dose of Oxytocin. If only we could take a daily pill, we'd all be singing 'Because I'm happy...' all day long. From what I understand our modern world is causing all sorts of imbalances in our bodies.

    I read a great quote in an article on the weekend by naturopath Janella Purcell: "Many of the women I see in my clinic are overbusy, overachieving and they don't have the pair bonding that happens when a woman feels she can depend on another person. Women feel they have to grow the bacon, cook the bacon, look sexy while they serve the bacon and make sure the bacon is free-range, organic and nitrate-free, as well as bring it home." It got me thinking, are we sabotaging our happiness with our modern lives?

    Oxytocin is known as the 'bliss hormone' - it makes us happy! There are a few situations when this hormone is naturally generated in the body such as during childbirth and breastfeeding. As a mother of two beautiful girls, I can safely say that regular childbirth is definitely NOT my chosen method of receiving ongoing oxytocin blasts!

    The good news is that sex is also a stimulant for oxytocin release. So, if we all had more sex, we could all be happy more often? Sounds like a simple and easy solution, right? If only it was that practical.

    The article really resonated with me. As women we try and be superwoman in every aspect of our lives. It can be tiring, really tiring. That combined with the havoc that stress, and the impact every day hormonal changes, can play on a women make the desire for bed, to sleep, sadly so much more attractive than indulging in a good session with our partners.

    Maintaining our intimate relationships with our partners takes 'work'. Sometimes you need to put in the effort, even if you're not 'in the mood.' Of course the good news is that it inevitably ends up being very pleasurable work, but it does require effort.

    A girlfriend once told me that every Monday morning she has 'maintenance' sex - the sex that her and her husband have, as a routine,  to keep their relationship connected. I think there is something in that. I know that if my partner and I haven't had sex for a little while I feel the intimacy in our relationship start to pull away, the close bonding and sharing of an intimate moment pulls it back together, even if it's only a 'quickie'.

    If you're in a relationship and you want to stay in the relationship, I really believe it's important for women to make a conscious decision to work on all aspects of the relationship, including the intimacy.


  • Sexual Education Matters

    I wanted to share this article as it highlighted some really disturbing facts around how our daughters are dealing with sexual pressure from boys. It is shameful that online sexual abuse and harassment have become everyday interactions, a by product of our digital, everything so readily accessible age.

    The questions is, what can we do to protect our daughters and empower them with the right information and techniques to cope with an issue that is unlikely to be resolved?

    It starts in the home, with mothers and fathers having open, honest conversations about positive sexual wellness and what is acceptable and what is not. It's about teaching our daughters, at an age appropriate, that sexual experiences are also about pleasure for the women and that their bodies are owned by them. They must be respected. The boys use sex for power, we need to help our daughers understand they have the power.


    According to reviews about an English show about air in Australia on iTV called 'Brief Encounters', the 80s delivered a 'second sexual revolution' for the Brits with the rise of the Ann Summers party plan business. So, it's now the 'noughties', is Australia finally ready for the revolution?

    One UK review quoted: "With an Ann Summers store on pretty much every British high-street, it's strange to think back to a time when the store's sex toys and 'exotic lingerie' were utterly taboo." I read this and it struck me - it's 30 years on and really, it still is largely taboo in Australia!

    PASH Australia was launched over 10 years ago now with a goal to help the women of Australia have access to information and sensuality products that would enhance relationships, encourage intimacy and build female sexual self-confidence. My goal was to remove the stigma and empower women. I wanted to create something that would appeal to all women - hence the absence of 'exotic lingerie' and smutty toys!

    I have to admit, I struggled at the start of PASH to explain what it was that PASH did in a way that really explained it correctly. I tried to delivery concept of the 'sensuality' side, but inevitably people would basically say 'Oh, you sell sex toys?!', generally aghast at the mere thought.

    There are over US$15 billion worth of toys sold annually and this is predicted to climb to over US$52 billion by 2020, so I find it hard to believe many of the people who were apparently shocked really were.

    Thankfully we've made some headway since then and the reality is, it's not actually about what you're into - whether you use vibrating love toys or not, it's just about the opportunity to be able to have open, honest discussions about sex and sensuality, without feeling like a pervert.

    Only this week I had a good example of the prejudices that still exist when speaking to a potential supplier. The woman I was speaking to was very quick to reassure me that  'she didn't have an issue working the range of products I sold.' Really, I thought, why would you?

    The sensual range of products we sell are not illegal, immoral or pornographic in nature. They are beautiful products that provide solutions for people - bringing laughter and fun to the bedroom, encouraging romance and intimacy; and enhancing relationships. Some products also provide practical solutions such as increasing pelvic floor strength, stimulating desire and helping women cope with painful intimacy challenges. Let's face it, you purchase condoms and lube in every grocery outlet and 'intimate massagers' in some chemists, so why the blushed faces?

    PASH, of course, does much more than just sell products. Our vision is to also help women by providing information and education to help women live happier, more fulfilling lives.

    So what is it that people are so afraid off? Why is it still so difficult to talk about sex? Is the issue that toys are pleasure objects? Is it that toys can be used for self-pleasure? Or is it that these toys are linked to sex, and please, we're Australian, we don't talk about that!

    PASH has always tried to promote a holistic approach to discussions around sexual wellness for women because, of course, it's more than just about the physical act. It's about feeling sensual, investing time in yourself as a woman. It's about connection. It's about romance. It's about intimacy. It's about being able to have a discussion and get the information you are looking for - and not feeling embarrassed about asking. The British are meant to be the conservative ones, but in this, I think Australia is the more conservative nation.

    We're proud of being an Australian company that is leading the way in the 'sexual revolution' and bringing a little joy (and a lot of stimulation) to the bedrooms of Australia - viva la revolution we say.

    Jo x


  • Have you put your sex life on 'pause'?

    We may be 'socially' more connected than ever before, but research shows that the use of electronic devices (not the PASH kind!) are interrupting our sex lives and disconnecting our relationships.

    It's not just social media and our addiction to checking our FB status 100 times a day, it's also our eager adoption of streaming services like Netflix on portable devices that are keeping us up well into the wee hours. From someone who watched back to back episodes of Game of Thrones, I understand the dilema, I was glued to the screen until 2am for about a week, so not a lot of time for bedroom action inbetween!

    Out for a girls night the other week I spied an elderly couple sit down at a table. How lovely, I thought, they are on a date night. Until both of them pulled out their mobile phones and spent the next hour engrossed in their electronic devices! Now, they could have be sexting each other, but it didn't look like it. So, it appears it's not just the young that can't pull themselves off their devices.

    I think it's never been more critical to connect in our relationships. It's important to take time out away from distractions and actually communicate! Yes, talk with each other. Find out what's going on, how your partner is feeling, what they're excited about, what they are struggling with. The key to long term happy relationships is communication, so let's get chatting (and I don't mean 'Snapchatting', no matter how funny the dogface is :)

    Yours PASHionately, Jo x


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