Have you ever wondered how quick is too quick? And what's normal anyway? The conversation is often uncomfortable, or is simply not spoken about, for fear of making the man feel inadequate. However, ensuring both partners feel empowered in the bedroom is important. The term 'premature ejaculation' is banded around, but exactly what performance is defined by this term has not been understood. That is until now.
In a report just released an international group of specialists have finally agreed on a definition for premature ejaculation (it's only taking them over 100 years since it was first documented!). So what 'officially' constitutes fast performance? Three minutes or less, say the specialists.
According to research up to 30% of men peak too soon (know anyone ladies?), however, they are not deemed to have the condition 'premature ejaculation' unless they also are unable to control or delay their ejaculation during sex and these issues are causing psychological consequences. The reality is most men will suffer a quick round at some time due to stress, too much booze or many other reasons, the good news is that for most men, there are some easy solutions to help.
So as much as we joke around, the reality is only about 2-3% of men suffer from the real condition. However, it got me thinking about how many men get distressed by the thought they may have something wrong and, of course, how many women are left wanting at the end of a session. Both of these situations can lead to stress in the relationship and challenges in the intimacy department, so it's important to addresses it when it, ahem, 'arises' and have some solutions on hand. A few solutions below - the main point is to try different techniques, communicate and don't give up just because something doesn't work the first time around. Remember, practice makes perfect1
1.RELAX - anxiety is a big contributor. Rather than jumping straight in, spend intimate time together. Stimulate your partner manually, orally or with toys, and they may not need or want a long session to finish happy. A satisfied partner goes a long way to reducing the overall tension.
2. CHANGE YOUR PATTERN - try some different methods, not only will it be fun, you will discover new opportunities to experience pleasure. 'Edging', or orgasm control, is the practice of maintaining a high level of sexual arousal while delaying ejaculation. It takes practice, but it gets easier over time.
- Squeeze method: Have intercourse as usual until you feel like orgasm is seconds away. Abruptly stop other stimulation and gently squeeze your thumb and forefinger around the part of the penis where the glans meets the shaft (or your partner could do this). After squeezing for a few seconds, pause all stimulation for another 30 seconds before resuming intercourse. Repeat this pattern until you're ready to ejaculate.
- Stop-and-start method: Have intercourse as usual until you feel yourself coming uncomfortably close to orgasm. Immediately and abruptly cease all stimulation for 30 seconds, then start again. Repeat this pattern until you're ready to ejaculate.
3. PRODUCT SOLUTIONS - we've just launched a couple of excellent, market leading products that you could try, one is a spray and the other a gel. These products effectively provide a "numbing" effect to desensitise the penis and therefore delay the time before ejaculation. The upside is that you'll feel less sensation, which will delay ejaculation.
In the case with these products a little goes a long way as the downside is the partner may suffer a loss of sensation as well—you can always add more, but you can't take it off, so use sparingly.
The benefit of the gels / creams is that you can apply specifically to areas and the three main sensitive areas you can apply the gel: under the head of the penis, the main vein and the testicles. Aim to use a 20 cent piece size of gel and divide into three - applying a third to each area. This topical application absorb into the skin to deliver a mild anesthetic to the sensory nerves below the top layer of skin of the penis. This allows men to have ejaculatory control but with less loss of sexual sensation, and reduces the transference to partners.
4.PRESSURE TACTICS - it's amazing what can be achieved with a little anatomy knowledge! A fact many men (or women) know is that you can actually delay an oncoming ejaculation by applying pressure to one of two spots.
- Perineum pressure: Pressing on the perineum, a spot midway between the scrotum and the anus, will help to stop ejaculation because this spot reaches through to the prostate gland. It is the prostate that contracts and expands during orgasm and then expels the ejaculation fluid.
- Testes tug: When a man nears orgasm his scrotum rises up closer to his body. You can delay ejaculation by gently pulling the testes down and away from his body - but don't pull too hard ladies or you'll not only stop ejaculation, you'll stop everything!
My key advice: don't give up! It is important to experiment with products, amounts and different ways. You are not always going to get the desired effect every time, but you can sure have fun trying!
Yours with everlasting PASHion
Jo
